The Barons’ Girth
Ensuring that the people of Southron Gaard know in what manner they are to fly the flag.
Whereas some of our folk have sought our counsel over matters of a sumptuary nature namely the size, style and form of Standards, Guidons and Pennons to be flown and displayed by Southron folk and whereas we have sought counsel with those who know such things we are pleased to declare that the following traditions shall apply in Southron Gaard.
Firstly while it is a matter of science that metal breastplates, leather belts and trousers do not keep a constant size but grow or more commonly shrink with the passing years the girth of Barons is as constant as men’s chastity. Therefore the Barons’ Girth shall be the unit of measure for all such heraldic flags. Having consulted with Baron Sigurd and taken careful note of sketches taken at our own stepping up we have determined that the Girth is approximately 35 of the new inches.
In standards, as in angling, size is important and we therefore determine the following. No person shall display or cause to be displayed any pennon which exceeds one and one third girths in length, any guidon which exceeds three girths nor any standard which exceeds eight girths except that they shall, at the occasion of the first event they attend following the Feast of the Circumcision, which as we all know marks a famous day in the Barony’s history, perform for the delight of the assembled populace such songs plays or caperings as shall be seemly. Each year that they continue to make such a display shall they make this forfeit or else the Constable shall raise the hue and cry.
While it is mete that those who wish may display their allegiance to Lochac, Southron Gaard and by use of the Caidan Cross, Caid, no person shall be bound to do so in any fashion and any who would do so shall be proclaimed “Weedy Pigeons” and the hue and cry raised except if it be during the hours of darkness in which case only the hue shall be raised.
We further adjudge that puce, aubergine, magenta, taupe, aquamarine, and any colour that glows in the dark are colours of a foreign and generally unwholesome nature and that they have no place in banners in Southron Gaard unless the bearer shall be able to claim kinship with foreigners in which case the banner shall be regarded as merely suspicious but not malicious, malevolent, or an object of ridicule.
Depictions of buboes should be avoided like the plague.
We have noted with caution the tendency to “split the tail” of the standard and in an effort to provide a semblance of propriety we suggest the following. That those among our folk who by reason of culture, rank, title, marital status or academic standing feel it is appropriate for their own needs or who have taken diverse vows or who have sworn fearful and terrible oaths may partition the tail of their standards, pennons, guidons or other form as they deem appropriate to their station but that those who do so out of vainglory one-up-manship or from a sense of fashion should not do so and that any who do should surrender to the Constable any such offending standard at least one sennight before Canterbury Faire, at which faire the Constable shall rend it asunder and cast its parts to the four winds and if the constable shall deem needful, the case being grievous, pin the rags to the offender, or if the offenders are unable to bring themselves to part with their standard pay unto the constable one shilling for each girth in length of the offending standard.
None of these traditions shall, however, be used in any way to limit the rights of Southron folk to display upon such banners any mottoes, arms, devices, badges, achievements or logos as they shall justly or unjustly claim as their own nor shall it limit their right to graze upon such common land as the Barony shall acquire one and one half goats nor shall any save the King, His Queen or such Princes as he shall from time to time appoint to that station limit the right of Southron folk to keep and arm bears.
Callum and Chrettienne
(then) Baron and Baroness of Southron Gaard, A.S. XXXIX